Sexual Harassment

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post. Tweet

Frustration

Sorry this is just gonna be a long ass angry post. I needed a medium to express my frustration, my anger, my disappointment! Probably I will delete it off few days later. So bare with me.

Life is so out of control I don't even know what I am doing anymore. Is this what I want? Am I doing it right? Is the amount of commitment that I put in sufficient? Apparently not. Today was supposed to be a good, happy day. Turns out to be otherwise.

I don't blame my trainer for pushing me too hard during the training. Yes I admit part of me was angry with him over that. But the bigger part of me is just really disappointed and frustrated with myself for not being able to live up to the expectation.

Stop telling me I'm good. Cuz I know I am not. How to not doubt myself when everyone else is improving while my progress is totally stagnant? I see how the others are progressing while I am not. And when u tell me that you believe I can, it just kills me more because I know I will let you down again.

I hate this feeling.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I don't even know what I want anymore. Is this the right choice I'm doing?  

Am I really a worthy investment? 

I don't want to let you down. But I know I am not good enough to make you proud yet. 

:(

Tweet

Bad start for 2013.

I always have bad luck in the beginning of the year. Last year, I remember I got summoned by police on the second day of new year. And this year, my bag got stolen on the fifth day of new year. Talk about bad luck.

Ok you might say that it's a small deal because it's just a bag. But NO! It's a very big deal to me! Because I have everything inside that very bag! :(( My room key, my purse, my handphone, my matric card, my pencil case, my sweater, my bottle, my umbrella, my bigbang pouch, my exam slip - basically everything I need to survive in Penang!

And then, my purse has my bank cards, my IC, my driving license, my gym membership card, my pictures, my money, my starbucks card, my Aeroline card :( Can you feel my pain now?! Can you, can you?!!!!!!! Worst part is that I'm in my examination period and without my matric card/IC, I can't sit for my paper!

I seriously don't get why people would wanna steal people's thing. Dude, it doesn't belong to you! If you're reading this, you might be RM200+ and a S3 richer, but heck I curse you to fail your examinations and cannot graduate and sell nasi lemak by the roadside for the rest of your life (with bad business). And I hope all the bad things that anyone could think of happen all on you, YOU BLOODY THIEF!

If you are a Muslim, I hope Allah will punish you by not giving you "berkat" on whatever shit you wanna do in the future.

If you are a Buddhist, karma will come find you. And whatever you lose will be 10x more than me.

If you are a Hindu,  praying on Thaipusam, shaving your head, carrying the kavadi will do you NO good!
If you are a Christian, go and repent to your Lord, but you are still going to hell!

Call me mean, call me a bitch. But put yourself in my shoe, feel my pain and shut the fuck up.

Went to report to Jabatan Keselamatan but they don't seem to be able to help out with anything as well. The purpose of reporting to them is to be able to redo the matric card only wtf. USM's Sports and Recreational Management is even worse! I went to report today, and asked them whether is the CCTV functioning. And the officer replied me that those were not CCTVs but only for the guard to monitor. THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GUARD WHEN MY BAG WAS STOLEN?! 

And the officer told me, "I pun kesian lah dengar kat cerita you. Tapi kami pun tak boleh buat apa-apa." Great answer. How irresponsible is that of the management.

Nevertheless, I'm very thankful to my coursemates/friends for helping me to share out the message on FB. I felt the love! Thank you guys. The thief might see the message eventually, but I don't think my stuffs will come back again. The person will be a saint if he/she returns all my items. Btw that person did not MISTOOK, but STOLE it intentionally. So forget about him/her returning it okay. Reported to police already but I don't think there will be any result. After all, we are living in Malaysia.

USM, apex my ass.

DULAN.

Tweet

The day where everything went wrong.

WARNING : This post is gonna be full of curse words. If you can't take it, please don't read it.

Living outside on your own is difficult. Especially in a place so foreign to you. Everything is new and you have to learn everything all over again.

.

.

.

Yesterday, I got lost in Penang.

I took a bus and ended up in somewhere I didn't know. :(

This was how it happens. 

I was supposed to meet up with Lynne, Apple and Suzen to go Queensbay Mall at 12 noon. But i overslept and they went first. So I was supposed to get a student cab and go Queensbay on my own. 

SHIT JUST HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK!

I had five, five fucking student cab numbers and none of them were available! What the fuck!

So I had no choice but to take the bus. Apple told me to board 304. So I took the RST shuttle all the way to Aman Damai and walked to Sg. Dua's gate. What a luck I thought when I see a 304 bus once I stepped out of the gate. Paid RM1.40 for the fare and I'm good to go. I some more happily texted Lynne that I boarded the bus and will meet up with them real soon.

I was happily looking outside the window and enjoying all the heritage prints Penang has. Usually student cab will take around 20 mins to reach there, so for a bus and considering the bad traffic I estimated for an hour journey. 1h30mins passed. And I still don't fucking see Queensbay Mall. Dafuq?! 

So I went ahead and asked the driver and he said he passed by Queensbay Mall long ago! Trust me when I say my mouth turned to an "O" shape! Then I asked where are we now and he told me Pulau Tikus and is heading to Gurney! Motherf, I had no fucking idea where the fuck is Pulau Tikus! So the driver asked me to get off the bus and go to the opposite road to board back the exact bus to go Queensbay. Which proves to be a fucking wrong decision. Waited for half an hour and all I see is 101 bus. Already so unlucky some more got trolled by the bus driver. Fuck my life -.-

By that time, it was already 3.20pm and they were waiting for me to catch a movie at 3.50pm. Thank god for a thing called cab. I tooked a cab and the driver drove me to Queensbay. Turns out, Pulau Tikus was somewhere near Georgetown (which is fucking far away from USM). Paid fucking RM20 for the cab. Reached Queensbay at 3.45pm and rushed to the cinema to watch Dredd.

My day can't get any worse because that movie sucked! Its all about killing and killing and killing. And the visuals are gross! FUCK.

Met Jun Hau and his girlfriend in Queensbay and had some chit chats. Told him about my miserable experience of taking the wrong bus and he asked, did I crossed the road at Sg. Dua? After he asked that question, Apple snapped and said "Oh ya hor, I forgot to tell you that." Holy shit! Apparently, I was supposed to cross the road to the opposite and board the 304 bus for us to get to Queensbay Mall. The bus that I took earlier had passed Queensbay Mall and is heading to the opposite direction of Queensbay! *facepalm* Thank god I wasn't a cry baby and I wasn't even panic about taking the wrong bus and ended up in some place I don't know. So proud of my calmness wtf!

The conclusion is, it took me 3 hours to get to Queensbay Mall. 讲出来笑死人! -.-

Well, shit happens.

On the brighter note, I know which bus to board to go Gurney/Georgetown now. 

Lesson of the day : Never wake up late when you have an outing plan!

Experience is the best teacher. Explains my situation perfectly.

Tweet

Uni Life : Week 3

Annyeong readers, I've stepped into the 3rd week of university life.

3rd week away from hometown.

3rd week away from family. (the longest I've been so far)

And everything is fine. :D

No sign of homesickness, still surviving and fighting! :D

I have to admit that my lifestyle is changing. The one thing that was most significant is definitely cloth-washing. Well, call me pampered of whatever you wish, but i don't really wash my clothes when I'm at home. My supermom always does it. So, this is a really huge milestone for me in life. Haha. Well, I can't say the clothes I washed are 100% clean, but then, no sign of foul smell or itchiness while wearing. So, I passed myself! Hehe. The pullback, washing clothes does take a toll on your skin! :/

Thank god I have this amazing hand cream from Body Shop to save me from rough hands! :D

Second significant change will be the people around me. I miss my buddies, my excos, my kehpoh, my Byy, my B! Apparently, the people here are pretty lifeless (or those I'm considered close with so far). No one has a night life, which made me kinda sad. Because I sorta has a lot of freedom now, but the people here are just.. meh. They prefer to stay inside their hostel instead of hanging outside. I can't take this man! Complained to sis and she laughed at me! :(  *no offence yo, if you assume I'm saying about you, too bad cuz I don't give a damn!*

Need to get to know/close to cool people.

How I miss all my sporting asses! :(

yes, you! 

I assume i'm doing a great job taking care of myself so far. Still exploring USM. I hope I'll get to meet some awesome asses soon. 

Thanks for reading.

p/s : I LOVE G-DRAGON!

Tweet

Crossroad.

Warning : This post is gonna be a bit emo. 

I'm not emo but this is what that is running through my skull.

Two roads diverges into the wood...

Yes, the result for universities's interviews are out. And heck, I got shortlisted for USM's Communication. Good thing or bad thing? This really makes me think a lot. Since graduating from Form 5, I've always wanted to do Communication. But then, there is a part in me that wants to continue with Science, which lead me to Form 6's science stream.

And damn, I did bad for STPM. Like seriously bad to the extent where even I am disappointed with myself. If you think me feeling bad about my result makes you feel worse, stop reading and go fuck yourself.

But still, the part in me that wants to do Engineering is still there, hoping to be a professional in the future. Can I cope with it? After tripping down so hard in STPM :( Honestly, I got no faith to ace Engineering. Lots of people keep telling me that Mass Comm is suitable for me. Really?!

I don't want to regret about this in the future.

Choosing Mass Comm means that I'll be spending the next four years in Penang. Or shall I risk getting Engineering and stay in Selangor? But if I were to reject USM, I might end up in Sabah/Sarawak as well. Some of my friends are brave enough to apply to Kelantan. Salute them. 

"Sor Wen, Mass Comm is really suitable for you.." - Miss Margaret Chia.

"She made the right choice." - YeeLing's Dad.

"Go ahead, take it. I think you will do well. A lot of my friends that did Mass Comm are very successful now. But if you get Engineering then you go for Engineering.." - Mr. Moay. 

LOL?

The problem with the system is, the result of USM will be released earlier than the other varsities. If I were to reject Communication, I don't know whether I can get Engineering or not. I guess Computer Science is just not my field. Can't even bear to imagine me doing programming for the rest of my life. Worst still, I might be offered some alien course that is not even in my list of choices.

The system is just so fucked up. Why can't they just announce it together? Or at least, USM is announced together with the Research Universities.

Another setback, I feel really sad just by thinking of how far all of my friends will grow apart. Kim's going for music in UM/UPM. Suez will be doing TESL in UM. Jordan might be in Johor. since he got shorlisted by UTHM. Pang, UKM/UMS? Siewlye, Melaka/Terengganu? KahKing, Kelantan? SenChen, no idea yet. 

OMG!

Can you imagine this happening? *flipstable*

Enough of scaring myself. Better make sure I pass the interview before I talk any cock anymore. I shall just die in this dilemma. :(

Tweet

Decisions.

As you all know, STPM result was announced yesterday. Not gonna reveal my result here because it was nothing worth showing off. I assume I did okay, because thats what everyone told me. And now, we are here, at this pathway again. The decision-making stage, to decide what I wanna do next.

Honestly, I'm feeling lost.

I felt I can do better. But yeah, you reap what you sow. I accept my result with an open heart. I'm glad with what I have because I guess I'm a little bit above the average(?) and I hope what I have is enough to get me to a good university. 

It was a pretty bold decision to do science in Form 6 instead of Accounts/Art considering that my sister jumped over to Art and everyone assumed that I would follow her footsteps. 

Regrets?!

I don't think I have any. I'm happy being in science class and I know my passion is not in Art.

Now, the time has come again. To choose which university and which course to apply. I personally wanted Engineering, but when everyone ask me, in which major? I just can't answer. :/ Sis suggested Computer Science and Mass Communication, it was a pretty sure thing I can get. But I'll reserve that for my last few choices. Teacher suggested Forensic Science. Researched about it, the job opportunities seems a little bit disappointing though. :(

How now?!

This is gonna be the biggest decision in my life so far. And I'm worried. :/

Dad is good enough to not give me any pressure and ask me to go with what I want. The biggest problem now is I don't even know what I want. Why oh why?! Why am I so indecisive? :( Just kill me already.

Congrats to all that did well. Especially those that got 4.0, you're really a fucking genius! And to those who got 3.92, you're a genius already too! Just that luck wasn't really on your side. A shoutout to Kimberly Yong! Congrats kehpoh! So proud of you :) And to the other kehpoh, I'm sure God has a better plan for you ahead. To my dearest excos, Suey Erz and Pangky, congrats too! You guys did well! :) Love you guys with all my heart. Great to be in Form 6 with all of you. I wouldn't have wanna do it with anyone else!  Tweet

Valentine's Day.

p/s : This is gonna be an angry post! Read at your own risk.

I honestly thinks that this shall be the worst Valentine everr!

Mind you, I don't have a date for Valentine, but shit still happens to me.

#1 It rained so heavily that i got trouble driving to the gym! Thank god i made it for class.

#2 Can you believe it? The queue for Touch N'Go is actually longer than those Tunai lane. wtf is wrong with Kesas.

#3 After i came out of the gym, there was a super freaking long queue outside of BBQ Plaza and Sakae Sushi.

I honestly thinks that these boyfriends are pretty douchebags because hello! Do you not know something called reservation? And you expect your girlfriend to stand with you with her nicely done hair, heels and pretty dress?! Hell no! Epic failed boyfriends!

#4 This was a post-valentine trauma! I got into an accident this morning! 

Thanks to the irresponsible asshole who ran away, my car was scratched like its a besi buruk! Wtf man! I mean did you got dumped yesterday or your Valentine was too happening that you are not fully awake this morning? That was a freaking turning lane and you were going straight? Bitch, i hope you die soon!

And sorry, don't expect me to be a courteous lady because I'm a bitch and that asshole just messed with the wrong one. Yes, i curse like nobody's business. Perhaps i can't do anything now because I couldn't get his car plate number. Karma will play its role!

SERIOUSLY, JUST FUCK YOU!

Note that, I'm a bitch and don't mess with me.

Tweet

so miserable.

photo credit to SenChen.

Yes, enjoy the view while you can. Because you will never see it the same way again.
I'm so depressed now!
My A for Physics kinda fly away from me already.
Damn, i shouldn't have discussed it.

I'm so depressed now that i can't do revision for Chemistry.
What to do, what to do.
Why oh why, my life is so miserable!

#ishouldjustcommitsuicideanddie. Tweet

pretty ugly.

Had a super fucked up day today. Don't ask me why because i don't feel like elaborating it.
Thanks for the fucked up day!

Everyone seems to have high hopes on me. 
And i'm worry enough that i might disappoint you guys.
Things change.
So do me.
I'm no longer the old me.
Don't expect me to be perfect.
But I promise to try my best. Tweet

Form 6, survival of the fittest.

Countdown to STPM : 29 days

Fuckmylife, fuckmylife! 

Never have i felt so depressed about anything. Can you believe it? I literally feel like giving up now. Why is it so easy to other people and yet so hard for me? While scrolling through Facebook just now, i realised that alot of my ex tuition mates, although mostly acquaintances, are in Universiti Malaya. And the best part, all their courses are like hardcore ones - Medicine, Accounting, Engineering..

All of a sudden, i feel so inferior. 

Do i wanna enter UM, yes.

Do i wanna do Engineering, yes.

Do i wanna be successful in life, hell YES!

Form 6 is all about survival of the fittest. You never know where you stand. Form 6 is where you experience total extreme scale, where the good ones are really good and the bad ones are really bad. When you belong in between, you are on the losing side already. No one ever pay notice to the runner-ups, need not say those belong in between.

I finally understand the feeling of helplessness. Gosh, so little days left, so much left to revise. I don't wanna screw up my STPM. I definitely don't wanna waste my one and half year in Form 6. I believe in "you reap what you sow". How much i study, that's how good i'm gonna do in exam. And for goodness sake, i ain't sowing much. All i wanna do is to push through the 53 days left. I ask for nothing else.

#fuckingdepressed.

Tweet

the perfect 10 month.

Omgosh omgosh! September ended already. So does my trial. But the real STPM is creeping real near O.O
And trial result was bad! =(

What can i do to repair this shit. Only god knows.
Bro is having PMR in 3 days time. Hope i had his enthusiasm in revising. Haih.

Countdown to STPM :: 50 days

Tweet

wake me up when September ends.

Today is a very emotional day for me. Sister has finally entered UM for her tertiary education. I'm definitely happy for her. But, she meant a lot to me as my source of inspiration. I know i know, its not like she's not coming back, but at least for these few weeks, she's not coming home.

School is resuming tomorrow. And trial is starting on Tuesday! The pressure is on! So, i'm gonna MIA for this whole month. No Facebook, no Twitter, no blogging. Thats it!

So, goodbye for now. See you soon =)


i hope this all will end real soon. school is making me sick! Tweet

confused.

Define :: 

FRIEND.

Tweet

Dear Blog.

Finally, ze' blogger decided to come and post a short update. Today was a bad day. Nuff said. I'm really pissed with those Mallory assholes. I'm deeply disappointed. And i regret doing so much as the returns disappoint me far more than my exam results disappoint myself.

But, I thanked Pang for cheering me up and brought me to Mashitah's car. At least i had a good laugh listening to Kah King and Mashitah's conversation. Exam season is near and my Organic Chemistry is still way down the rabbit hole. Not to mention Physics is still perfectly untouched. 

Omg, and i think i should cut down on vulgars. I feel like keeling myself now.

And...

Who will be the best student for Art Stream?

Lim Sor Yeung or Yap Khai Jian. Opinions please.

Tweet

February is a bad month

What the hell is wrong with everyone??
Is it too pathetic for you to celebrate Valentine alone?
Dating someone just to show that you already moved on from your previous realtionship?
Diu.

What is wrong with people? Tweet

FML.

This is totally your own fault.
Don't scream at me like I'm a 3 year old and expect me to be scared of you.
I'm big enough to know whats my right and whats your responsibility.

Its not my mistake that you end up like this today.
Don't try to screw up my life like how you screwed yours.
And don't make me lose my respect towards you.

Seriously,

FUCK YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!

Tweet

untitled.

Pardon me, but you have obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. Tweet

Fmfl.

And what is your problem again?
I thought you said you got it?
So now you don't get it again?
Was it a joke? so lame.
Stop disturbing my B!
His job is not to update you about any shits.
If you think my way don't work for you, then don't bother to even ask him.
Don't always think that you are different/better.
Because you're NOT!
I don't need you to do it my way by the way.
Because my way is for me and my B. not losers like you.

Check this shit out, it used to be for you too.
http://eggytan.blogspot.com/2010/11/omg.html


p/s: the longest i can go, as requested by B. Tweet